So this is my tenth book by Cassandra Clare. I’m becoming quite the little Cassie Clare stalker..
Maybe I’ll make it an eleven xD Magisterium, by Cassandra Clare, was it?
But I digress. The Bane Chronicles actually really surprised me. I expected short stories and Magnus and sarcasm but I’d rate it 3 stars. Clearly I was deluded. It was 500 pages of Magnus awesomeness. EVERYTHING WAS AMAZING.
I FEEL LIKE MAGNUS MAKES EVERYTHING MORE BEAUTIFUL.
What I got was 11 awesome short stories that had the proper feel of a novel, and not just page-fillers. Oh, and there was glitter and Magnus and sarcasm and humour and weird fashion sense and glittery fabulousness. Okay? Okay. (Obviously.)
What Really Happened in Peru
I feel like I should make it clear at this point, that we do not , in fact get know why Magnus was banned from Peru.
The story follows him on a series of (mis)adventures like how he tries to play a charango (even the llamas hated it), attempts a day as a pirate (ends up in a pile of bird poop) gets more drunk than he ever has (somehow he ends up flirting with a plate) cons a lot of annoying rich men (Kitty was a good partner in crime *nods*)
The Runaway Queen
So basically he concocts a scheme with a revolutionary to rescue *cough* kidnap Marie Antoinette. That’s all I shall say. Oh, and vampires and hot air balloons.
Vampires, Scones & Edmund Herondale
Here we met Edmund Herondale, and I was reminded of Will all over again. It made me sad and want to curl up into a ball and weep. It also made me want to flail copiously and squeal (and get a lot of weird looks from my family.
Oh, and Camille Belcourt and how it all actually started.
Looks like the fear runs in the family 😉
The Midnight Heir
This was my most favourite one ❤ It was like reading a fanfiction situated 15 years after the events of TID. It was dashes bittersweet but happy and then there was James Herondale. What ya’ll need to know: he’s a Herondale, truly and completely.
The Rise of Hotel Dumort
There was plenty of action in this one, but the plotline didn’t really appeal to me. Probably my least favourite.
Saving Raphael Santiago
MY FAVOURITE, HANDS DOWN.* The banter between Magnus and Rapheal was SO. FREAKING. HILARIOUS. Usually a book won’t make me laugh out loud, but say lol and smile. This story made me laugh.
We never exactly found out how Magnus saved Raphael in TMI, but we were given this story. THANKYOU, CASSANDRA CLARE.
*Afterthought: One of my favourites. I can’t decide and settle down with one like a normal person
The Fall of Hotel Dumort
Meh. Not AS good as the earlier stories.
What to Buy the Shadowhunter who has Everything (and who you are not officially dating anyway)
Another fabulous story. Scratch that. I think THIS is my fave. It was hilarious as Magnus was panicking and phoning all his friends trying to think of a present for Alec. (Doesn’t end well. He’s hung up on by everyone XD) He ends up listening to advice from a demon who altogether talks too much. Mixed Tapes. Scented Candles.
BEST DEMON EVER. I couldn’t stop giggling.
The Last Stand of the New York Institute
This one is about Valentine in the early days when he slaughtered innocent Downworlders.
I hate Valentine even more.
The ending (which incidentally also had Tessa) was really sweet.
The Course of True Love (and First Dates)
Oh God, they were so hilariously awkward and adorable and sweet on their first date <33
The Voicemail of Magnus Bane
Never mess with Isabelle Lightwood. HER VOICEMAIL IS QUITE SOMETHING. I flailed so much while reading this. Or at least internally flailed. Flailing for real would be awkward xD
“Open the door so I can kill you!”
“Think about being Lightwoodless and lonely five hundred years from now, in a sad and chilly nightclub on the moon.”